I was surfing around Facebook today (Thursday 2/11) and came across this quote by the amazing actor Giancarlo Esposito:
“Change is good. It happens when the universe is putting us in a different place so that we can see it from a new perspective. It challenges us to go further than we've been before.”
There is irony in this quote today, of all days. I am home sick and just said goodbye to my 2 kids for 11 days. And I am a complete basket case. Yes, the person who gets overwhelmed, and loses patience with them and sometimes feels like I just need a break from them. I am the very same person who is feeling lost without them right now. I do realize at this moment that I need to get a grip. They are going away with their dad and uncles and cousins, not strangers. But my son wasn’t feeling well when he left, and I have never been away from them for more then 3 or 4 days. All this is just compounding the fact that I won’t be with them for eleven.whole.days.
So I’m sitting here on my pity pot trying to see what the lesson is in this whole scenario. A few things come to mind...
· I need to loosen the reigns a bit and let go. As I sit with this for a bit, I realize I am happy for my kids…. I will never take my kids on a cruise so I am grateful that they get to have this experience and spend time with their Dad.
· Absence makes the heart grow fonder. I will refer back to the feelings of missing them like crazy when they are back home and driving me crazy.
· As a mother, I have to trust that my kids are going to be ok when I am not with them. I’m not going to be there to remind them to put on sunscreen, or drink water, or to eat some fruit and vegetables. But somehow, they will survive and they will return home in one piece.
· I need to learn to be in the moment. Yes, I miss them, but I don’t want to get stuck there and not enjoy all this alone time. I rarely get alone time and now I have 11 whole days of it. I want to be all in. Because in 12 days from now I will need to look back on this week and remember how relaxed and nice it was and remember how much I really enjoyed it.
· Being alone does not mean lonely. It means quiet. As the week goes on, I am getting more comfortable with being alone. There is something very peaceful about being alone and quiet. It has given me more time to meditate, write and read. All the things that rejuvenate my spirit.
· I am spending some time with my husband. Although he is working most of the week, it is amazing how different the dynamics are when the kids are not around. And I don’t mean this in a negative way…. It has reminded me of why it is important to keep our relationship a priority. In the craziness of work and running kids here and there, it is easy to let this slide. It has been nice to get back to that place.
So my motto for this month has been stepping outside my comfort zone and trying to find the lesson in the uncomfortableness. There is always a lesson. We just need to be open to receive it.