Parenting from fear

I love the fall.  It is my favorite season.  It is also football season.  And I have a son who lives and breathes football. My son plays lots of sports, but if he had to make a choice between them all, he would choose football.  Hands down.  But it scares the heck out of me.  My daughter had a significant head injury that has limited what she can do for the rest of her life.  So watching my son every Sunday has become a test in anxiety management for me.  I am a nervous wreck.  With that being said….The book I’m writing talks about how we can make small shifts in the way we parent that will help guide our children to become aware of their purpose or destiny, and live an authentic life.  One of the chapters is about parent agendas vs.  kid agendas.  In a nutshell, it means allowing your kids to discover and explore what interests them, with your guidance.  (not letting your kids do whatever they want).  So this is my internal struggle…I wish my son didn’t play football.  I wish he didn’t want to play football.   And sometimes my anxiety over it all makes me want to just pull the plug on it.  Then when I get back to rationalville, I realize I can’t live my life in fear.   Fear limits us.  It’s totally limiting me when it comes to this and if I allowed it to consume me and take over, it would limit my son too.  Because this is something he likes and is interested in and wants to do.  Why should I take that away from him?  There are many positives that he is getting from being part of a team.  Working together, and this season, they are learning to lose with dignity.  Yes, the concussion risk and injury risk is probably higher in football, but my daughter's head injury was from a fluke skiing accident.  They can get hurt riding their bike and walking across the street.  So I am trying to recognize when I am living in, and making decisions from fear and I am working on trying to move from fear and into “allowing”.  It reminds me of the 3rd step in AA:  “Made a decision to turn our lives and our will over to the care of God as we understood Him.”  We have to let go and realize that we are not in control. 

Are you living in fear?